I'm Awesome.

Or at least that's what other people have told me. Honestly though, I have a hard time seeing it most of the time. Not because I'm a masochist or because I don't believe in myself; really, it's mostly because I would rather spend my efforts focusing on the potential and good qualities of other people rather than my own. In fact, I'm generally uncomfortable talking about myself.

But this time…this post…it's all about me. I deserve it. Even if it is just this one time.

Over the past year or so, I've done a lot of growing up. Do I still have room to do a little more growing up? Of course. Then again, doesn't everyone have room for growth? Anyway, in that time I've been forced to make a lot of decisions that I didn't want to make. I've been forced to answer a lot of questions I didn't want to answer. And I've been forced to move away from things and people that I didn't want to move away from. That said, I'm a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. I wouldn't be who I am today without the struggles I've fought, without the tears I've cried, without the people I've met, and especially not without the roads I've taken.

A couple of days ago I opened a letter that made me so *expletive* happy…my acceptance letter to UTSA. So, graduate school, looks like we'll be meeting this fall! I've always wanted to go to grad school, but I've always let that idea stay on the back burner. For some reason I guess I just didn't have it in me to make it through even the application process. Call me a pessimist, but I really didn't think I would get in. But I did! I got into the program that I wanted to get into and I'm one step closer to the rest of my life. So yeah, a lot of people in my life have told me I'm a great person, that I'm awesome, but somehow those comments tend to fly past my head. Instead I focus on the things naysayers have told me. There have even been people in my own family that have not been supportive of my decisions in the past. They've said things like: "Why are you going away to college?" "Why are you joining a sorority?" "Why are you studying psychology?" "Why are you studying Spanish?" "Why are you going to Ecuador?" "Why are you coming back?" "Why did you take a year off?" "If you take a year off from school, you're not going back." And the list goes on…

Well, you know what? I PROVED YOU WRONG. I'll be the first to tell you that I could have thought things through more thoroughly in my past, but it is what it is, and I've made the most of it. Things are not always going to be perfect. Things aren't going to play out the way you want them to or expect them to, but you have to work with what you have and you have to have faith. Not necessarily faith in a divine God…just faith in something. Faith in yourself. And sometimes you even have to round up that faith when times seem the most difficult. Ultimately, it's your life. You gotta make the most of what you have and play the cards fate gives you.

Haha, this post was supposed to be about me and how awesome I am but somehow it wound up being a sort of self-help tool. Eh, it is what it is!

But whatever. I got into grad school. I'm awesome!